Wednesday, July 8, 2009


it's the art of hitting goal. strategy is the first aspect of the way i comprehended. still learn to use it and won't learn 1% of it in this life it appears.

it seems a universal key. it is, yet it is illusive and rather tricky to explain. so, do not take my words. destroy them completely and learn from what you find in the wreckage.

strategy has basic currents using which this world can be altered in any way:

1. we have what we seek. we seek what we have.
if we are not satisfied with what we have, we are to alter what we do. if we are not satisfied with what we do, we are to alter what we have. if we seek happiness and are not happy, we are not to do what we have done before.

2. we can.
if we doubt own ability to hit the goal we fail before we start. if we act, then no doubt. if we doubt, then no action.

3. standard solutions rarely work.
this world defies anything uniform. for example, there are no 2 identical hydrogen atoms. therefore, path of hitting goal is adaptation and original solutions. it's difficult, especially in the beginning: we'll see more failures than goals first. yet, it's a skill, so more we practice the better results we get.

4. learn before act.
if we do not know in details correlation of actions and their results in the chosen field, we are to fail most likely. therefore, before we act, we learn whatever we can about what we are to do.

5. peace.
if we are distracted we are likely to misjudge situation and thus fail. therefore, more we train to stay at peace more likely we are to succeed and vice versa.

with these currents i found way to happiness that can not fade. hope they would be as useful to you.

good luck.

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

inferiority & attachment

once it was a problem for me. yet my luck erased it at one moment. absolute most of the people i meet suffer from it.

how? for example, one seeks to be free of suffering and at the same time with admiration talks about some teacher. that one feels inferior to that teacher and at the same time wishes to be like him/her. these two wishes are in conflict, so no progress.

to be free like sakyamuni one has to be sakyamuni in a way. then it's a work, a routine, a daily thing - not a matter of admiration. hence, admiration is an attachment to what we do not know, i. e. an illusion. while one believes inferior thus it will be.

stand up and act. nothing changes otherwise. you can do it!

good luck.

Friday, June 26, 2009

retreat #2

hello, everyone!

so, what was the retreat like. well, 5 hours sitting, 6 hours sleeping, then chanting, walking looking down, working and eating in a very ritualised way. very boring. highly recommended.

also there was a zen master, so we had interviews. i found that the master is using pretty same algorithm for every student. whether this approach is efficient i would need to think over and examine. also i doubt usefulness of some koans. this matter takes further examination as well.

i took 5 vows and now bear a buddhist name in Kwan Um zen tradition. the name is myo do, which means 'mystic way'.

finally, a tip for people who plan to go on a retreat for the first time: rotate sitting positions often. :)

good luck.

Thursday, June 4, 2009


hello everyone. i'm leaving for a retreat tomorrow. plan to be back on june 25. no fun here until then. :)

good luck.

Thursday, May 28, 2009

take care

a koan. i don't remember exact wording, so excuse my memory.
a student came to a master and asked to tell him about enlightenment.
- have you eaten your meal? - asked the master.
- i have.
- go wash your bowl!
student was enlightened.

it was one of the first koans i've come across. i did not get it then. and lengthy explanation got thing even more messy. :)

it's simple though. if we don't wash dish after meal we get mess in kitchen. similarly, if we don't study and take care of our mind, we get mess in our lives. we all know simple things like meditation. we eat and wash dishes, have shower, brush teeth and meditation is something unnecessary. nobody tells about it on TV like they do about health so that medical industry had their profits, they tell about foods, gadgets and another war. we hear and believe. we do as they say. then, suddenly, we are unhappy. seeing the sun, we do not smile. seeing the rain, we do not smile. to know how weak we are and to take care of our weaknesses is something we can do tomorrow. this way we never learn to be happy.

nosce te ipsum - know yourself. then take care. if not you, no one will.

good luck.

Thursday, May 21, 2009

helping another

helping another without naming the person is of little use since every human is unique, thus has to be the approach. so, here are few basic guidelines my experiments found to be useful in most cases.
  • confidence. one has to study the matter well before considering helping. i can not help another to do something that i can not do.
  • compassion. it's not that we need to feel for another person. we need to be another person. with fears and desires of that person. with joy and pain of that person. trick in doing so is to have the self be silent.
  • peace. likely many of you know the feeling, that when you discover truth of some teaching, it is delighting, and there comes the wish to share this wisdom with others. stop. do not. whenever you are not at peace, be it joy or unease, do not try to help another for in this case we pass our illusions onto them.
  • focus. earlier i discussed that human mind is a wonder even the fastest supercomputer would have trouble processing. this wonder needs complete focus when working with another wonder like it is. every sight, breath and word matter. how exactly this my thought is helping that person before me?
  • know. the better you know the person you're trying to help the more likely it is to see the results. helping a stranger does not give visible results almost at all times. silly me - what am i doing then? :)

good luck.

Sunday, May 17, 2009


earlier i discussed the base function of human mind - learning to give certain output on certain input. every thought we repeat forms certain output on certain input, i.e. forms a habit.

is it possible to have no thought thus no habit? likely. however, to have existing habits fade one has to have no thoughts for months at least. plus it would efficiently deny most of the communication and analytic functions. to cease thought is an exercise, not a goal. thus, forsaking habits is not the goal. while we think, we have habits and we have to think to communicate with other humans.

is it possible to have habits and still be at peace? certainly. what is attachment then? evidently, a habit that brings discomfort. from most trivial like feel depressed or angry if someone insults us and feel anxious if we don't get something to which we are used to; to those more tricky to notice like "he wrote a good thing", "i did well", "i won't be like that".

in a nutshell habit is simple, yet, as complex our mind is, habits aggregate: base habits dictate directions, those of a higher level dictate trends, higher level dictate flows and top level are most evident and easiest to fade, though many find them not easy at all. :) aggregate habits stand together, otherwise they would not have aggregate. and they dictate limitations, to which we adhere. those limitations bring discomfort.

so, how do we break free of attachment? it is to imagine for one moment that there are no limitations. literally. then repeat that thought. then again. and again. and again. and again. then figure most base of attachments and have them fade, i.e. not repeat them. quite simple. quite difficult. :)

and remember: do not believe anything i say. use critical approach and test things out on your own. it is only known way for a human to learn.

good luck.