Tuesday, June 30, 2009

inferiority & attachment

once it was a problem for me. yet my luck erased it at one moment. absolute most of the people i meet suffer from it.

how? for example, one seeks to be free of suffering and at the same time with admiration talks about some teacher. that one feels inferior to that teacher and at the same time wishes to be like him/her. these two wishes are in conflict, so no progress.

to be free like sakyamuni one has to be sakyamuni in a way. then it's a work, a routine, a daily thing - not a matter of admiration. hence, admiration is an attachment to what we do not know, i. e. an illusion. while one believes inferior thus it will be.

stand up and act. nothing changes otherwise. you can do it!

good luck.

Friday, June 26, 2009

retreat #2

hello, everyone!

so, what was the retreat like. well, 5 hours sitting, 6 hours sleeping, then chanting, walking looking down, working and eating in a very ritualised way. very boring. highly recommended.

also there was a zen master, so we had interviews. i found that the master is using pretty same algorithm for every student. whether this approach is efficient i would need to think over and examine. also i doubt usefulness of some koans. this matter takes further examination as well.

i took 5 vows and now bear a buddhist name in Kwan Um zen tradition. the name is myo do, which means 'mystic way'.

finally, a tip for people who plan to go on a retreat for the first time: rotate sitting positions often. :)

good luck.

Thursday, June 4, 2009


hello everyone. i'm leaving for a retreat tomorrow. plan to be back on june 25. no fun here until then. :)

good luck.